Living with a Dead Name: Vol. 3 I have a Dead Gender, not a Dead Name
When I met Daveon, she had bright platinum hair and had just gotten out of rehearsal for a musical in the theatre department. It was my first year at SIU and I was in a show too. We bonded over cigarettes and the upcoming drag show she was going to be a part of. I couldn’t wait to see her, and she did NOT disappoint. She could kick, split, dance, twirl, and even better… she could really sing.
A show here, a tip there, I have always admired Daveon’s talents and heart. She is always willing to turn up for the Rainbow Cafe youth, or record a drag video for the pride pageant. So when I wanted to start drawing portraits, you can guess who I sent a message to first. That’s right, Miss Rain Foxx if ya nasty.
As you can see, I was just starting to figure out line weights, struggling with noses, color schemes, how to play with layers and procreate effects. She was gracious, willing, and encouraging. I had no idea, two years later I would still be drawing comics and finding new ways of creating community through my art. I recently decided to start a small amateur drag troupe. We are just starting to work on names, and personae. Rain, of course is our fearless leader. She sends us videos of how she made lesson plans for us in a brand new composition book and other videos on how to “paint” our makeup.
In the car driving around Carbondale, we start talking about dead names. I tell her how it makes me a little bonkers when I get deadnamed in different scenarios and she said,
“I don’t really have a dead name, I have a dead gender. My name is gender fluid. It’s not specifically for one gender or another. My name is special and was given to me for a reason. Just because I am evolving into my true and highest self, doesn’t mean I should kill my name. I choose to kill the gender you once associated with my name because it is no more.”
Ever my collaborator and teacher, I said. OMG we should collaborate on a blog about that, so she sent me some pics and a paragraph and here we are. I am ever grateful for her presence and voice in my life. If you read this, I highly recommend you follow her on all the things (links below). Also, if you are feeling generous, support our local drag community by throwing a tip her way!
